My Love

You have a lot

to lose,

My Love.

Please don't take

the risk.

I would absolutely

hate to see

your life after it

self-destructs.

You have a lot

to lose,

My Love.

You may think

I'm farther away

but I'm not

- I remain at your side -

it's you who's

turning away;

and both of us that

changed - every single day.

You have a lot

to lose,

My Love.

But if you choose

not to fight this,

and succumb to

your own destruction,

then I've lost you already

- which is too bad because

you will

ALWAYS

have my heart.

Opposites

I guess I just

forgot

that we are

opposites.

That wasn't the answer

I wanted -

but it was very

YOU.

Sometimes our balance

is very comforting;

sometimes,

not so much.

But I don't

CLASH

like you do

[of course not -

I am your opposite],

I simply

BREAK

against whoever I have

collided with,

and change to

meet their needs.

But when it's

ME

with the need,

I can't really

compromise.

Distraction

The numbers on the clock

burn into me;

I haven't heard

a word.

I sigh and tell myself

a million little stories

to excuse the weighty

absence.

The pain in my body

is a constant ache,

with sharp turns

every now and again.

But the distraction I seek

does not seek me,

so what else can

be said for it?

The Way I Planned

When I think of

you

the time passes far more

s l o w l y.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Nothing I ever

plan on

ever turns out

the way I planned.

Car Wreck

I couldn't comprehend -

shards of thoughts -

jerking motion -

crunching crumble -

chunks of plastic -

pain.

This isn't happening.

Trapped -

doors won't open -

crawling out the window -

can't think straight -

frantic phone calls -

911.

This can't be right.

Red and blue lights -

tears and shaking -

horror -

lost little girl [oh wait, I'm a grown up?] -

men with badges and clipboards -

sweltering, dripping heat.

This isn't real.

Deafening noise -

please just hold me -

goggling passersby -

adrenaline and fear -

pretending to be fine -

hugging strangers.

This can't be me.

Worry

There is no certainty

like uncertainty.

The 100% expectation

of the unexpected

is an undeniable commitment

to the debatably noncommittal:

the simple complications.

Worry is a tangle of

STATIC

in your brain.

My Name is Strength

I will hide my face

no longer,

for MY name is

STRENGTH.

I will not be

overcome with fear,

for MY essence is

LOVE.

I cannot breathe

doubts and questions,

for MY breath is

COURAGE.

I will not linger

where the sun doesn't shine,

for MY shadow is

RESTORATION.

This is who I am.

This is what I am called.

I am powerful.

I am made beautiful.

I have been chosen.

I am loved.

I will hide my face

no longer,

for MY name is

STRENGTH.

Your Anger

I am left

QUAKING

in the face of your

anger.

My hands are shaking

- I can't hold a pen,

I can't even write -

and my stomach is rolled up

with fear.

I beg you not to

hurt me,

not to

crush me.

You're the only one

who can.

Please don't!

Have mercy!

I have little value

when I have been

shattered.

I'd like to

remind you

that my heart is

yours alone

to break.

So please don't use

such angry words.

I'm fragile.

My heart cracked a little -

did you see?

You have enough of me

to rip me to

SHREDS

in ten seconds flat.

I don't stay angry

but a second.

However, I could stay

sad

hurt

lonely,

for a very long time.

Refusal

I refuse to let my life

come crashing down

around me,

simply because the

color of the sky,

the temperature of the sun,

and the cycle of the moon

just changed.

I retreated to the place

I always go to

HIDE,

and I find I

can't cry.

I'm not sure if

I'm okay,

but I know

-someday-

I will be.

Upside-Down

My world

so recently right-side-up

is upside-down,

again.

With my feet glued to the now-ceiling,

the blood rushes

to my head;

I try not to think,

try not to scream.

I don't understand,

yet it makes

perfect sense.

My heart is pumping as

emotions are changing.

With growing horror

I wonder:

If I close my eyes

and let myself

FALL

in this upside-down world,

do I fall down,

or fall up?